


Ewok Nuggets

by Basingstoke



Category: Sith Academy - Fandom, Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: M/M, Sith Academy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2002-05-24
Updated: 2002-05-24
Packaged: 2017-10-03 16:11:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Basingstoke/pseuds/Basingstoke
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>A NON-canon story NOT approved by Siubhan of the Sith Academy.</p>
    </blockquote>





	Ewok Nuggets

**Author's Note:**

> A NON-canon story NOT approved by Siubhan of the Sith Academy.

Obi-Wan knocked on the door of the closed, darkened diner. "Dex!"

No answer. He walked around to the back, where he could hear music playing, and pounded on the back door. "Dex! It's me."

The door swung open. "Hey! Come on in." Dex waved Obi-Wan inside. "I'm just frying up some tasty Ewok nuggets!"

"Not letting that disguise go to your head, are you? Ewoks are nothing but fat to begin with." Obi-Wan swung one leg over a bar stool and grinned at Dex.

Dex shot him a look and slapped the hologenerator concealed at his side. The green bulk of the solid hologram melted away to reveal the red-and-black striped skin of Maul. "I am the perfect weight for my species," Maul growled at him, "and we'll burn it all off anyway. Or has the little green troll decreed you the Jedi celibate again?"

"Nobody's turned up pregnant in a while. He gave in." Obi-Wan flicked his eyebrows.

Maul pulled the basket of crispy golden Ewok from the deep fryer with one set of arms and grabbed a bucket and a bottle of Wow-Wow sauce with the other.

"Why four arms, by the way?" Obi-Wan asked. Not that he minded the grafts; Maul's favorite "Sith Lords Kick Ass" shirt was sliced down both sides to accommodate them, giving Obi-Wan a good view of four shapely biceps.

"They're useful." Maul dumped the Ewok nuggets into the bucket and replaced the basket, then sat next to Obi-Wan. He held the bucket with one hand, the sauce with the second, ate with the third--and pinched Obi-Wan's butt with the fourth, making him jump. Maul bared his teeth at Obi-Wan cheerfully.

Obi-Wan grabbed a handful of nuggets. "So what's the word on the dirty Coruscant streets? What's Da up to these days?"

"He has a new apprentice," Maul snarled, biting into a nugget with all of his anger.

"Who?"

"Beats the hell out of me." Maul huffed air through his nose.

Obi-wan elbowed him. "Knock it off. You're better off without him. Free agency is the wave of the future! I'm thinking of going rogue, myself, if I can find a way to do it and hang onto Anakin."

Maul made a face. He'd made it quite clear over the years that he hated Anakin on principle.

"Look, if I leave him to Mace or fucking Yoda, he'll turn to the Dark Side quick as a blink. As it is, I think hormones are going to do it for him. He's asked me when Amidala's arriving *seven* bloody times this week. Seven! How fixated can a teenage boy be? It's not healthy! I assigned him to be the towel boy for the Temple women's water polo team and he didn't get a single phone number. He said he wasn't interested!" Obi-Wan shook his head and grabbed the Wow-Wow sauce.

Maul glowered.

"And don't give me that look. I tried him out, and he's not gay, so you have no reason at all to be jealous."

"How can you be so sure?" Maul said, eyes glowing.

"I wore the kilt."

"...Oh. You're sure."

"Mm-hm. These are good, by the way." He doused another crispy bit of meat in the hot sauce.

"Of course they're good! They're sliced with fury and battered in hate." Maul chomped on the Ewok bits, racing Obi-Wan to the bottom.

Obi-Wan reached for the last piece and three of Maul's arms grabbed his wrist. "How much time do you have?" Maul asked.

"Anakin's asleep--and locked into his room, besides. The little bastard hasn't yet figured out how to spring my knots. So I've got all the time in the world."

Maul's eyes glittered. "Sex! Now!"

"Wait!"

"Now!"

"I brought the kilt."

Maul's eyes glazed over. He threw Obi-Wan over his shoulder and raced into the bedroom.

Obi-Wan just laughed as he fished the kilt out of his robes upside-down.


End file.
